What is it with me and hookers? 

I wouldn’t say dreaming of hookers is a recurring everynight thing, but I have definitely had more than my fair share.

In this one the weird thing was that my young son was with me. I actually had no inkling that I was off to a brothel while we walked down the street and entered an old looking building laughing and joking as we always do. The hall way was decorated like I imagine a house from the 1800s to be, wood floorboards and panelling were the order of the day. Once inside I walked him to the lounge where, despite the old feel to place, there was a TV. He sat down and I left him. I went in to another room where a row of girls waited, naked. I picked one that had real woman curves. Hips, boobs, soft skin. I traced the shape of her body with my hands and we laughed. Then I woke up. 

Flirty Car Crash

Ok so the other night I had a dream that I was in a car crash. It was only a mini bingle, but I damaged both cars all the same. The weird thing was that me and the driver of the other car were not angry at all. 

She was an attractive lady with short brown hair and we hit it off straight away. We touching each other’s hands, arms and just being very very flirty. 


Catching money

I had a very long a drawn out dream last night. I can only remember bits and pieces and could spend thousands of putting you all to sleep as I try to recall every minute detail in order but, there was one thing in particular that stood out.

I was walking across a car park towards my wife and son who were waiting patiently. Suddenly something fluttered in the breeze. I watched closely as it swirled around, up and down. It went one way then another like a dazed bird that’s not really sure where it’s going. Then suddenly it straightened up and flew directly in to my face. I grabbed it and saw that it was a $5 note. I looked around, saw other people and held the note out offering it to somebody that may have dropped it. No one took it and I ran off to my car.

Family Feud 

Ok, so me and my family don’t get on. Although the reasons why are long and complex it does have relevance to this dream, I think.

My wife and kids were sitting at the couch and a gift had arrived from my mum. It was for my son. Maybe it was his birthday, maybe Christmas I’m not really sure, but the fact my mum had sent a gift at all was strange. When we opened it we laughed that it was a very cheap looking picture frame with a non descript picture in it. But it was what was behind the pic that caught my attention. My mum had placed all of my baby pics there, as well as school photos etc. as if trying to get rid of my memory.

My million dollar dream

Ok, before you say anything I want to get it straight that I am not a money hungry person. Of course I wouldn’t mind some extra bickies in the bank but on the whole I’m happy with my new car, my little rental, a holiday once in a while and enough spare cash to buy a nice coffee everyday. I am also, definitely not a pushy parent living my failed dreams out in my kids. I let them be free to make their own choices. I guide, advise and always try to see things from their perspective. 

I just wanted to get those things straight before jumping in to telling you about my next dream. 

Last night I dreamt that my son was in some sort of soccer program. I’m not sure of the full details but I do know that they were going to give out $1 million to one of the boys. The list was narrowed down to three and my boy was one of them. Of course I was very excited about this and watched nervously as they went about interviewing each of the chosen few. 

The first boy was so shy that he hid behind his dad refusing to talk. He’s got no chance, I thought as I perversely revelled in his discomfort. My boy was next. He was cool calm and composed as always. I was so happy. For sure he was in the top two. 

I then woke up needing to pee. Not that you needed to know that. 


Thank god these aren’t my dreams. 

I dream some weird shit. I remember once becoming a Jedi while I slept. I wish so much I could remember all of the details to tell you guys about that one. I have also had numerous Alien dreams and been in other scary situations but I am sooooooo glad that I am not Zdzislaw Bekonski. The Polish artist has taken to painting images from his dreams and let’s be honest, if these are his dreams the guy could have some issues.


My earliest memory of having a bad nightmare is from when I was about 11.

I had gone away on school camp and was sleeping in a stupid tent. I struggled to fall asleep but whe I did I found I was at home in my bed room. I heard music playing outside so I ran to the window to have a look. In the street there were a number of clowns on unicycles riding up and down while circus music played in the background. I shouted for my mum to come and see. She came in slowly through the door and looked at what I had found. She was quiet and unsurprised by the scene then she turned towards me with her mouth open and turned in to Penny Wise the clown from the movie IT. She had sharp teeth like daggers and as she advanced I screamed and woke up with my head half way out of the tent. 

It still spooks me to this day.